<sup>It's been awhile. Things have not been going so well. Surprise surprise.

Tuesday I went to see Iron Man with the family, which was amazing. I recommed you see it. It was by far the best movie I've seen in a very long time. Anyways. My sister and I haven't been getting along for awhile now and on Tuesday things just escalated. I was angry because my sister wanted to do other things on the day my concert was on but mom said no, because she couldn't pick her up and bring her home. Of course I said, "Can't you think about anyone other then yourself for once?" and she stormed off. My mother was mad at me. She then decided for some reason to show me a note that my sister had wrote saying that she no longer wanted to live with us, because she was "unwanted". I lost it, broke into tears. Climbed up into my tree fort in the backyard and just bawled. It was one of those cries where you just can't stop, even if you want to. My dad came to check on me, which surprised me. Sitting alone in that tree fort, crying alone, I've never felt so alone in my entire life. I just looked up into the stars and cried, it was pretty cold out.

The next day I was still upset and angry, but I had a concert to play at. It was my schools Spring Concert, in which I played guitar in. After the concert I didn't get any congratulations. My family just left and drove home. The conversation consisted of, "We could hardly hear you guys." and "I thought the second song was okay."
That's it? Okay? I was upset again. I'm so sick and tired of being okay, being adequate. Being not supported in anything I do by my family. As soon as we got home I climbed into bed and cried again.
They must have known I was upset then and the next day my sister said I did good and my mom said she liked the concert. I didn't expect support from them, but it would have been nice.

I just was so upset for the last few days. It brought back all those sad feelings I thought I had locked up for good.
Today has been better though, yesterday was good too. I think I just hit a rough patch. If I don't cry periodically it just wells up inside me and I just get so depressed all at once. I guess that isn't really good for me, especially when I get all those feelings...

Well, other then that things have been unchanged. My uncle is still in the hospital though he's getting out soon, my mom and sister aren't getting along, I stay away from everyone as much as possible. It gets hard having to pretend that nothing is wrong all the time, especially at school. I haven't even told anyone about this stuff, not even my best friend. I don't see the point I guess, people have their own problems to deal with. Hopefully this weekend will be good, I need some sleep desperately. I haven't been able to sleep much. ON the plus side our guitar ensemble was invited to play at the Stars of Kiwanis concert (I think that is what it's called) which is a real honour! That made me feel pretty special. I need to find a job soon so I need to work on that (the summer job I applied at didn't work out, I was rejected), as well as keep up with school as the end of the year is soon approaching. Hopefully things will work out.

Anyways, have a good weekend everyone.</sup>